I would never travel first class on a UK train under normal circumstances. The cost is prohibitive and no journey is long enough to really merit it. Yet I collect my tickets from the little red machine, only to discover that I will be traveling among the gentler classes. I'm still not entirely sure how this happened. The price I paid seemed reasonable but I know, from previous encounters with Virgin's website, that little makes sense when booking online.

• Paris is the most expensive city in the world
• Coffee can be as cheap as half price if you drink at the counter (comptoir)
• You're really just advertising yourself as a total dick if you don't at least try to speak some French
• The projectionist at the cinemateque sometimes chooses to show the reels in random order (100% of the time in my case)
• Drink wine, not beer
• Parisian winos fake orgasms for money
• Paris is cold!
• You too can join the alien invasion
• Ri